This week had been both eye opening but also tiring. Right now it feels like I’m on that final lap for the end of the year, and once break comes I am treating myself to hibernation. I’m excited to find that I’ve recently developed a love for surrealism, as well as for the art program Illustrator. I can’t wait to see what new things I can potentially learn over break, as my mind is always curious. I’ve been more and more thankful for my mother, as she continues to support me to try new things and learn as much as I can.
Doing nothing was extremely hard for me. I kept telling myself I would do the activity, but I kept pushing it until nearly 8pm. I turned off my phone, sat on my bed and–waited. Every so often I would get up, pace, sit back down and try again. Eventually I somehow managed to relax myself where I was finally able to be in a meditative state. When I finally started to settle, I realized how much I missed meditation as a whole–as it use to be an activity that I enjoyed and would regularly put in my routine. However, as the semester progressed I started to neglect this type of resting phase. This is probably the major cause of my burn out, as I don’t often allow myself to sit with my thoughts and be in the moment.
I normally have a hard time justifying doing nothing, and if I am resting I often find guilt in it. Which is why when I do take a break, I often watch Youtube–as I don’t want the thoughts of ‘not doing anything useful’ to bother me when I need to turn off my brain. There is a song by AJR called “The Entertainment’s Here,” which conveys a similar thought process I tend to go through due to being a chronic overthinker.
If you would like to listen to the song, here is a link:
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